Songs For Squirmy Children:
All songs by Tony Day and Todd Elsliger
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TOYS
How many toys are ever enough, I don’t even play with half this stuff
Don’t you try to throw anything away, I’ll want it back the very next day
Teddy bear teddy bear where are you,? Are you hanging out with the robot crew
Down by the castle with the rubber snake, or under the bed with the roller blades
Whatever the occasion, use your imagination
There is a toy that’s perfect for every situation
Got enough cars to fill a parking lot. Got enough trucks to build a lot of stuff
I’ve been laying tracks for my diesel train. Up in the sky it's a fighter plane
Lego on the floor in between your toes, puzzle on the table where it shouldn’t go
Hungry Hungry Hippo that I never play, and I like to keep it all on display
Whatever the occasion, use your imagination
There is a toy that’s perfect for every situation
I’m out of batteries, 9 volts of ecstasy I
Lost the adapter for the drone I begged Santa to bring me
How many toys are ever enough, I don’t even play with half this stuff
That won’t even stop me from wanting more, is there any way that you could buy the store?
Teddy bear teddy bear one and two, three, four, and five look a lot like you
I’m losing track of all your names. Haven’t even tried half these games
Whatever the occasion, use you imagination
There is a toy that’s perfect for every situation
FISHY
Look at me, I’m like a fish
I kick my feet like a motorboat
I wave my hands and then I float
In the sea, or at the pool
I jump right in like a baby seal
I splash around like it’s no big deal
‘cause I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
a great big fishy with a swishy tail oh yeah
I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
Look out below, I’m on the slide
Coming down faster than a great big wave
Going underwater then up again
I hold my breath, and close my eyes
Then I jump up like the dolphins do
I bet I can swim faster than you
‘cause I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
a great big fishy with a swishy tail oh yeah
I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
Look at me, I’m like a fish
I can take a bath with the best of them
Bubbles in my hair and on my chin
Until I’m clean, and soaking wet
Wrap me in the biggest towel you can find
I can’t live on land, for too much time
‘cause I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
a great big fishy with a swishy tail oh yeah
I’m a great big fishy with a swishy tail
123 MY ABCs
123 my ABCs, won’t you teach these things to me
Dance around and sing along, then turn it all into a song
Do Re Mi, what do you see, will you play the notes for me
Up and down the scales we go, now we’re ready for the show
1 2 3 my A B Cs. 1 2 3 my A B Cs
123 and 456, turn around and pick up sticks
Move your body to the beat, clap your hands and stomp your feet
Do Re Mi and Do Si Do, spin your partner to and fro
Spell my name and I’ll spell yours, letters spill out on the floor
Do Re Mi is french you know, on y danse tout en rond
Comme ci comme ca et je m’appelle, I’m learning fast as you can tell
1 plus 3 and minus 2, all that’s left is me and you
and you have so much more to show, about the things I wanna know
1 2 3 my A B Cs. 1 2 3 my A B Cs
THE COLD
I’m not afraid of the cold,
that only happens when you get old.
Bury me up to my armpits in
snow, and I’ll just wiggle on out
I’m not afraid of the cold
I’m not afraid of the wind,
I’ll build a fort that we can hide In.
The harder it blows the deeper we’ll dig,
t’ill we find Eskimos
I’m not afraid of the wind
I’m not afraid of the winter ‘cause that’s what I wear my mittens for
You zip up my one-piece snowsuit and I stay all cozy and warm
I’m not afraid of the ice,
I might have fallen down once or Twice
Skating around under Christmas lights,
and I’m just as fast as you
I’m not afraid of the ice
I’m not afraid of the winter ‘cause that’s what I wear my mittens for
You zip up my one-piece snowsuit and I stay all cozy and warm
I’m not afraid of the cold,
that only happens when you get old
I’m not afraid of the wind,
I’ll build a fort that we can hide in
I DON’T SPEAK DOG
You wag your tail, that means you’re happy
You lick my face, that’s how you kiss me
You dig a hole, that means you’re restless
And when you sit by the door with those puppy eyes
You’re telling me it’s time to take you outside
I don’t speak dog but I know what you’re saying
BARK BARK give me a bone
When you purr, then I should pet you
When you run, I always chase you
You let me know, when I should feed you
By scratching up the chair that I’m sitting on
You land on 4 paws no matter where you jump
I don’t speak cat but I know what you’re saying
MEOW MEOW leave me alone
Stoop and scoop, pick up the poop
Change that kitty litter, before it smells bad
Vacuum the hair, it gets everywhere
That’s how you treat a best friend
You sing a song, so you’re a budgie
You squeak and chirp, so you’re a gerbil
You’re always quiet, so you’re a lizard
One more creature and we’ll have a zoo
I wish I could talk to every one of you
I don’t speak budgie but I know what you’re saying
TWEET TWEET put food in my bowl
MEOW MEOW leave me alone
I don’t speak dog but I know what you’re saying
I WANNA BE A PIRATE
When I was a polliwog swimming in the pond
All my friends knew what they want to be when they grew up
And though I think a fireman’s a good and noble cause
Its not for me I want to be something against the law
Hey Ho Hey and a sippy cup of gin, I want to be a pirate so where do I begin?
I have a shirt with ruffles and a tattoo of my mom
But the thing that sold me most I heard they do whatever they want
My best friend is a princess and my brother is a vet
A kid across the street wears a crown upon his head
This neighborhood is full of superheroes wearing capes
I’m not the type, I’m like the evil genius who escapes
Hey Ho Hey and a sippy cup of gin, I want to be a pirate so where do I begin?
I’m growing in a black beard even though it simply won’t
But the thing that sold me most I heard they do whatever they want
Cowboys are annoying and unicorns aren’t real
I used to want to be an astronaut but here’s the deal
A PhD in physics isn’t written in my cards
I’d rather hunt for treasure with a shovel in the yard
Hey Ho Hey and a sippy cup of gin, I want to be a pirate so where do I begin?
I never brush my teeth at night, at least the ones I’ve got
But the thing that sold me most I heard they do whatever they want
I travel in a minivan and rule the seven seas
I wear a patch upon my eye, tucked into my sleeve is
A hook that that my dad fashioned from some tin foil on a stick
And now he counts the days until I grow out of it
Hey Ho Hey and a sippy cup of gin, I want to be a pirate so where do I begin?
My parrot is a teddy bear, my wooden leg is strong
But the thing that sold me is I heard they do whatever they want
Hey Ho Hey and a sippy cup of juice, lock up all your children a pirate’s on the loose
My enemies are terrified, when they hear my song
But the thing that sold me most I heard they do whatever they want
PLAY THAT SONG AGAIN
Dancing in circles, ‘till I’m dizzy falling down
Swing both my arms, till my big feet leave the ground
And when it’s all over, and the music fades away
You’ll hear me say, play that song again
Play that song again
I know the words, and I love to sing the tune
The rhythm is steady, and it bounces ‘round the room
And when it’s all over, and the music fades away
You’ll hear me say, play that song again
Play that song again
Play that song again
I like when it’s quiet, and I love when it gets loud
It’s even more fun when, we can all dance in a crowd
And when it’s all over, and the music fades away
You’ll hear me say, day after day,
Won’t you please play
that song again
REAL FOOD
Chocolate milk and cookies, Ice cream on a cone
Give me figgy pudding, feed me something sweet
Golden chicken nuggets, crispy bag of chips
Cheesy powder fingers, feed me something salty
You gave it to me once, and that’s on you
Now I’ll never go back to eating real food
Take me to McDonalds, or a Pizza Hut
Cover me in french fries, let the ketchup flow
Cereal for breakfast, cereal for lunch
Cereal for dinner, cereal for bedtime
You gave it to me once, and that’s on you
Now I’ll never go back to eating real food
Sorry for the mess, but I always seem to get some on me
It isn’t often best, but always tastes good
I don’t remember salad, can’t remember fish
Won’t be eating veggies ‘cause they’re never on my dish
Since you tried the first time, and I made a fuss
Now I’m eating noodles with butter as the sauce
You gave it to me once, and that’s on you
Now I’ll never go back to eating real food
THE PARK
Take me to, the park today, I want to play in the grass
The sun is out, the trees are tall, the sidewalk leads to the path
When we spend time together, it make me feel so good
I can’t wait ‘till we get there, the park in our neighborhood
Ba ba baaa..
I can climb, and I can swing. I can dig in the sand
I say hello to other kids, and try to make a new friend
When we spend time together, it make me feel so good
I can’t wait ‘till we get there, the park in our neighborhood
Take me to, the park today, and push me down the biggest slide
Spin me round the carousel, and catch me on the other side
When we spend time together, it make me feel so good
I can’t wait ‘till we get there, the park in our neighborhood
SLEEPY
I swam like a fish in the pool all morning
‘till you packed me up on our way to the grocery store
We have a deal, I get to pick my cereal
Then I promise not to bother you no more I’m Sleepy
I blame this warm car, and this comfy seat you have me strapped into I’m Sleepy
If we don’t stop for food, I can’t guarantee there won’t be a meltdown soon
The mid day sun is shining in the sky
We pull into McDonald’s for another happy meal
If they’re out of the toy I need for my collection
Someone’s gonna get a piece of my mind I’m Sleepy
I blame this warm car, and this comfy seat you have me strapped into I’m Sleepy
If you don’t play a song I like, I can’t guarantee there won’t be a meltdown soon
A cool breeze from the open window, a motorcycle races by
A fluffy dog on the sidewalk, that might have caught my eye
A cartoon on an iPad
Cheerios straight from the box
I picked a fight with the sandman and I think I might have lost
We pull into the driveway, while the sun is setting
But I don’t remember how, I got my PJs on
Someone must have carried me, up the stairs to bed
And I’m not ashamed to say, this wasn’t the first time I’m Sleepy
I blame this warm car, and this comfy seat you have me strapped into I’m Sleepy
But I don’t want to close my eyes, in case I miss something good